Dating and Dollars

If you haven’t had that relationship quality and satisfaction that you always knew was out there, and you could never figure out what the heck was going on…

Please, tune in for a few moments. I have something to say. It blew my mind when I realized it.

How much would you like to know of a little known concept that can help you see why you’re not having as much success as you should in relationships??

Would you like to know it NOW?

Well then my savvy reader… I’ll tell you a little secret.

You didn’t learn how people transfer value with one another, and you have been sold a false understanding of value.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I made the opening to this piece like an ad in order to illustrate a point. Your attention can be held for a few moments if something is said the right way, and probably… whatever else was going through you mind at the moment was put on the back burner. Just because something grabs your attention doesn’t mean it will deliver what you expect. This holds true in dating and dollars.

I have noticed personally, and I have had people tell me that dating these days is very shallow; incredibly frustrating, and it feels hopeless for anyone who is looking for a mature and deep significant other.

The younger people in this generation often have issues with love, and no doubt this has a heavy presence in the young hearts that desire to have a family, and build a legacy.

When people treat dating like they treat their money you see commonalities. Say, for example, one dates multiple men or women at the same time – it usually ends up being like juggling multiple loan payments on education, a car, a house, and that home gym that flexed and bowed the wallet. You can only go so long before you get HAMMERED. It’s risky, and though one may have this grand collection of beautiful things and people that they can enjoy at a moments notice… how deep does the value go in such a setup? How deeply are the people and the things felt to be meaningful?

If you want to grow cynical fast (this may offend some, so be it) that’s how you go about dating and spending. You can “afford” to go into debt for an unhealthy person. You can “afford” to play the sensual, and sexual natures of people; light fires of passion, and when someone feels like they are getting shafted – what will you do? You lit the fire. You took the risk of making fiery jealously, and if you don’t “care”… you will get third degree heart burns. Just like constantly buying the new car, the new sexy thing, without any consideration for how it will effect your FUTURE.

On the other hand… let’s say a person has a faithful partner, and that once passionate, healthy fire starts to dwindle. Can you “afford” to be too busy to talk about it before the demons of hell and anger start to consume the nearly empty reserves of respect, and love that you share? Can you “afford” to just find someone else, and avoid the uncomfortable task of at least trying to salvage what once was incandescent joy?

“It’s just too HARD.” NO. Stop right there. Don’t be a damn fool. It is more like “it’s too UNCOMFORTABLE” if you are honest.

A little disclaimer… there are many unhealthy relationships people have with toxic souls. Sometimes you can’t save these types of unions, and there is no problem in my eyes with ending them. Yet… it is so easy to fall into the trap of thinking that “it isn’t working out”, and “He/She used to be different.” More often than not the problems stem from y’all not WORKING ON IT. Never let an extreme case example be a justifying reason for you avoiding the hard work of maintaining a garden of love… just because many naive, yet well-intending people are doing it.

However long we have been on this planet… God has never been like this with us. He doesn’t go back and forth with his commitment towards us. He doesn’t toy with the hearts of his children like a player fools with the ladies. He doesn’t invest in the hot thing at the moment, and divest and forget all he did with something else in the past. He is FAITHFUL.

He is faithful to all that he has made, and he is faithful to us when we are faithless.

If we are faithless, he remains faithful—
for he cannot deny himself.

2 Timothy 2:13, NIV

He remains steadfast no matter how faithless we are towards him; His goodwill towards us stands firm, and His affection remains invested in us. Could you imagine how things would be if we had even a fraction of his attitude towards whom we seek, whom we love, and what we buy into? He is (in a sense) in debt to our eternal good, and He shall only rest when that good comes to the fullest realization imaginable.

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.

John 13:34-35, NIV

I understand that the world doesn’t go by this tune in general, but there are people that do. I feel God has always been the Lord of the remnant. The loving and faithful few who TRULY are about listening to his Spirit, and to his tones of love and grace for their lives.

When you find someone with a heart like that (one that is tender to the voice of God)… BE FAITHFUL. You don’t want to lose someone like that. Likewise, when you find something meaningful, and it REALLY enriches your life… TAKE CARE OF IT. There is no reason for something like that to get dusty from being forgotten, even if it isn’t the latest and greatest.

Dating isn’t about buying the “sexy” in the ad. It’s about “buying” into a holy relationship between three people (you, the person, and God). The grounds for a Spiritual marriage are what need to worried about before anything else. If you, the person, and God sit in peace among each other in serenity of soul… YOU GOT IT (in my eyes).

Buying into a person or something just to keep up with appearances shall lose its fire and zest. It’s the nature of human attention spans. For, what will it mean to you when he/she/it isn’t new anymore; he/she/it has lost it’s social cred, and he/she/it has hammered one more nail into the coffin lid above you weighted down by concrete bricks as a “bonus”?

Whomever you love into, and whatever you buy into — you will pay a price. The question is this… would you rather pay the price that God asks — that is, to humble yourself; let him love on you, and then, the riches of his kingdom shall follow — OR… pay to become a slave weighed down incessantly by the comparisons of others (in love and in things) who wouldn’t even DREAM about helping you on the side of the road?

Come to me, all of you who struggle and are greatly burdened in your hearts, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you instead, and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Paraphrase of Matthew 11:28-29

The choice is yours. I know what I want to do. Besides… paradoxically, there is more room to walk on a narrow road with a few travelers, than a wide road with many.

Seek Christ’s face in the dating scene; seek Christ’s face in the store, and seek His face in the mirror as you look at yourself. You were made in His image… why can’t the same be true for your life?

Blessings!

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